"Off That" Conversation Pt. I

H. Slim: Being in the military and living in every part of the country has definitely broadened my horizons on how different things are in every region. I hate to admit it, but I have come to realize that my beloved country boys from below the Mason-Dixon line are usually behind the curve on fashion...


Jo: I'm glad you finally came to that realization! You have come a long way from stressing over how your T-shirt can match your sneakers in every way possible. I'm completely OFF THAT.


H. Slim: Old habits die hard. I'll tell you what I'm off of...Mr. Look At Me, I Have On the Same Name Brand Everywhere. I hate seeing a dude with a Polo shirt, Polo shorts, a Polo belt, Polo boxers, the Polo socks with the Polo sneakers, and pulling money out of his Polo wallet while he blocks the sun with his Polo hat. Get the Polo fxck outta here!


Jo: Well then somebody should let Soulja Boy know the deal. "Gucci down to the socks". Since we're ranting, I'm off terrible color ensembles. Here's a rundown: Hot pink and black is not cute--even a little bit. White cotton leggings are a "Hell no." Curly Hair Pieces--I'm talking those spiral, non-existent-on-real-people curls. Those flea market, mexican-style shirts that can pass for maternity clothing... UGH! The list goes on. Jamie, you wouldn't understand.


H. Slim: Nah, that's female stuff. I got one to match all of that: Rims. Period.


Jo: Not even 28's?? I'm talking about the ones that only allow you to drive 25 MPH.


H. Slim: ESPECIALLY THOSE! To my bruh's they scream "look at me", but to everybody else in the world they scream "NIGGER ALERT!" I like not having police give my car a double-take. That's just me, though...


Jo: Give me one word to describe this bunch of historical clothing that seems to keep resurfacing: Lot 29, Southpole, Girbaud, Ecko, Mecca, Fubu, Paco. (True Story on the last one. Turns out there are not too many malls in Pensacola, Florida.)


H. Slim: One word: Fail. Can I give another one word? BOOTSIE! If I see someone in Paco jeans, I might put a dollar in their big-ass jean pocket. "You need it more than me, man." As far as Lot 29 goes, what clothing store with a retail license even puts that on the racks anymore?! Lot 29 is harder to find than Waldo! LOL.

To be continued...